I'm not quite sure when it started, but at some point I became an overly anxious person. Mind you, it isn't an all-the-time occurrence, but at the slightest whiff of bad news my brain starts working in double time. If someone says "I need to talk to you" in a tone that is anything less than cheery all the possible things I could have done wrong start whirring in my mind. It's a constant track of "Beware. Be prepared."
That being said, I rarely am outwardly distressed and often am well-served by this tendency. It allows me to work through the many possible angles and outcomes of a situation so often, the end result rarely surprises me. This in turn causes others to perceive me as being cool as a cucumber in scenarios that would otherwise have someone running around as though the sky is falling.
It's a trade off, you see. A compromise between internal anxiety attacks, sometimes of extreme proportions, and the outward ability to be a pillar of support and strength. I wish there was a way to be the latter without mental freak-outs, but it seems that I am resigned to being slightly neurotic for the rest of my adult life.
Mind you, this was all sparked by a phone call from my parents house at 9:30 this morning... the only person who would call is my Mom, but she knows I'm at work. So why? I won't know until my next break at work when I can turn that blinking notification light off and listen to my voicemail.
In other news, my future sister-in-law did have her baby yesterday evening. A beautiful baby girl who is still yet to be named.
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